Gnome Pimping?

After scouring the web for patterns for the last month and a half I took matters into my own hand. This is my very FIRST pattern written by me going off of various pictures... Whew.
Now this does resemble other traveling gnomes, mostly like my favorite knitter/toy-maker/awesomist gal Anna Hrachovec from Mochimochi Land . But to be clear, no, I did not purchase this pattern, nor did i copy/thief/steal her pattern from someone. I simply knitted from looking at various pictures between those on her blog, various random gnomes found on the web and from my head. So, Anna, if you are reading this and are mad, I'm sorry and I'll purchase your pattern! And to be clear, NO, I'm not selling these lil fellers...
I don't believe in pimping out my gnomes...

Feller on the right, whom is looking a bit pale as he's been vacationing in Alaska for the last few months. Don't mention is short stature, he's a bit sensitive.
And yes, that's an itty bitty wittle chikin.
They're ranchers by trade now...

Laundr-O-Mania!

After spending countless hours at various laundromats in my time I can say one thing is clear, I'll never be completely comfortable washing my clothes where strangers have.
Who's to know what nastiness has washed off others' clothes and lingers for mine to touch, swirl, spin and cling to.
Case in point, the random yellowish stains that ostentatiously showed up on my clothes tonight. Pissed? Yes. Kinda grossed out? You betcha. At least I know it isn't contagious since they were dried at HIGH heat for 40 min. *shudder*
Then there's always the creepy attendant. Randomly walking past you, seeing what you've got going on. In my case, knitting. I've got two (well four) needles, you've got two eyes. Coincidence? I think not. And next time you check out my ass as I'm pulling clothes out of the washer/dryer/whatever, said needles will find their way to you... *insert evil laugh and clasped hands* Take that Creepy-Attendant-Dude.
Oh, shall we discuss the unknown discolorations on the folding tables?
Or perhaps the smell that you just can't quite place?
Or even the... wait. Hold on. I think I'm even too icked out now to go back.
Sigh.
But I have to next week.
Until we meet again Creepy-Laundr-O-Mat-Attendant-Dude.

Hubs Just Asked Me...

"What are you blogging and bitching about me now??"
Then conveniently leans in, ever so gently, and reads above line.
Twice.
Apparently he thinks I need another hobby.
After months of not writing, I missed it. Terribly.
I may not write every day, but I am making it my goal to get three posts in a week. Big goal? Not so much. Big enough goal for a Stay At Home Mom with an almost 2 year old and an almost 6 month old? Oh hell yes.
I know I won't have long, inclusive, in-depth, posts, but I'll be damned to at least get a small smile from each of my readers. However small and select they are... You know I love every one of you!

Epic. Fail.

So I epically failed. Failed to make time to write. Until now... dun dun dunnnnnn...

Let's see. What's happened since you last heard from me March 1?? Okay, sit down, shut up, and HOLD ON!

We moved from Oklahoma back to Washington state shortly after my last posting.
Stayed at my dad's house and at my SIL's house, back and forth, back and forth for about 3 weeks (and 4 hours drive between the two) until we found a house in Sequim. Pronounced S-Kwim. Not See-kwim. Or see-kwim-run... see-kwim-fall... you get the picture.
Come June, after struggling and stressing, we were forced to move. Again. To Arizona. 
So this is where we reside now. And hopefully forever.
Keep in mind ALL (save for what we could cram in a tow trailer) is STILL in Oklahoma. That's right. Two effing states away.
So we are sleeping on the floor. We meaning my husband and I. The girls have cribs... I made sure to pack their stuff first. Although, in hindsight, I wish I would have "known" we would be without this long and packed more stuff for Abby. Growing like a weed. A long, skinny, loud, weed.
I swear we can rival any Gypsy or Military family when it comes to packing and un-hoarding possessions. Really.
But there is a light at the end of this long, bitter tunnel. HOPEFULLY we can get our things by the beginning of August. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. Toes crossed. Eyes crossed.... ouch, not so much the eyes. Makes it hard to type.
All in all I think we've come out pretty ok. Still married, still alive. That counts right?
So as I sit here on the floor, I'd like to simply say, "HOLY MOTHER #($&#**#Q($()*&@*(&*#(&!!!" There. I feel better.
So stay tuned, I plan on writing a lot more. A lot. Like maybe everyday? And I've even installed the app on my phone so I can blog on the go! Yessiree, I'm with the times. Mmmhmmm.

Holy Hannah! What a Whirlwind!

Well,  my first attempt at blogging post baby is FINALLY coming to a reality.
Oy vey.
At this moment, knock on wood, BOTH (yes, BOTH) girls are being quiet, peaceful, and quite possibly sleeping. GASP!
And as I typed that the newborn just stirred. Dangit.
Well so far I've had the sad, horrible, reality of sleep deprivation smacked back in my face like a runaway train. It sucks, just to let you know.
As a matter of fact, I slept in the guest/baby room last night with the baby in my arms all friggin night. Because, golly forbid, she sleep in the swing, or bouncer, or even in her bassinet. By. Her. Self.
To make matters worse, she has GERD (GastroEsophogeal Reflux Disorder) just like her big sister did, except worse. It's a real bitch.
And while I'm thinking about it, Fisher Price really needs to look into extending the timed noise maker on their swings. 15 minutes just doesn't cut it guys. If you could make it 15 hours, now, I'd buy stock in your company. But until then I'm investing in a time machine. And unicorn pixie dust.
For those that follow me on Twitter (and if you don't you TOTALLY should, I'm just saying...) noticed my MIL was in town to assist with my now chaotic lifestyle. Kudos for her in helping out, but I think both parties will agree 3 weeks is a bit too much for anyone. And the fact she confessed she likes Yanni. Yes, YANNI. I contemplated disowning her on the spot, but she was holding my child.
Aaaannnnnnddddd the baby isn't staying asleep/quiet/content.
Crap.
Guess I'm cutting this entry short. Very short.
I promise I'll get the hang of this soon and be a bit more regular about writing!!!
Toodles Shnoodles.

She's Here!

M Kay. After being up all night with contractions and being put down by Nazi Bitch Nurse on the phone, at 1:03 pm we became parents to Abigail Lynn. Weighing in at 7 lbs 7 oz, 19 in long with HAIR! Emma didn't have hair. She had a mullet. Reminiscent of The Vandals song "I've got an Ape Drape"... Abby is LOUD. And has a birth mark between her eyes resembling an inverted hand... aka strawberry patch. Morphine is itchy and spinal has started to wear off... owwwwch. Can you tell i had contractions all night and slept only 2 hours plus am drugged up??? Can ya? Can ya?...okay. Time to go. Getting more drugs to cut the barfy feeling and the pain...
To be continued.

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T-Minus 21.5 Hours

In 21.5 hours, we'll be parents again! And I have to stop eating AND drinking ANYTHING after midnight... Do they realize that's 12 HOURS of NOTHING?
Evil. Simply evil.
But what the medical personnel don't realize is I used to work in the field scheduling peeps that had to fast... in reality, I can get away with beginning my fasting at 3 am.
Suckers.
And after giving it some serious thought, I'm gonna blog RIGHT after... Call it an experiment in blogging, AKA drunk on morphine and an epidural blogging. From my phone. It should be interesting to say the least.
I may even add a video. Maybe.
FYI, Hell froze over. Literally.
It was -19* yesterday. In Oklahoma.
Guess what it's supposed to be next Thursday?
56*.
Stupid weather.
Plus we had 3-4' snow drifts. This was all enough to shut down the entire state. For two days.
We went shopping today and laughed at the poor saps that were stuck in the snow. And yelled at the ones tail-gating. They really don't know how to drive out here. Really don't. *Sigh*
Moving on...
Did I mention Abigail will be here around 12:30 pm tomorrow???? Did I??? *Doing the happy dance*