Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I don't know how everyone elses Thanksgiving was, but ours was pretty uneventful up until after dinner. We had the usual, gobble gobble, mashed taters, green bean casserole, stuffing, gravy, you get the idea. Pepper, our Double Yellow Headed Amazon parrot was needing some fresh air after being cooped up in the apartment smelling his cousin cooking all day, so we placed him outside our second story front porch, in his cage. He wasn't out there but 10 min before I mentioned to my hubs that I heard someone coming up the stairs (we currently don't have neighbors next to us and we don't have friends here to visit us). I said Pepper is still out there. Hubs opened the door, and sure enough, Pepper, cage and all, was gone. Hubs leaped and bounded like a super hero after the robbers (and I'll be using "robbers" since "thieves" seems petty when you are dealing with a family pet/member and it's being considered Grand Theft, a felony right now). Hubs was able to get Pepper and his cage out of the back seat of the vehicle (yes, the &^$^%#$%$^&'s were REALLY taking him!) Pepper escaped and flew off when his cage hit the ground. Hubs was assaulted by three hispanic males that frequent the apartment directly across from us. He took down two (yay, go Hubs!) and the third kinda did him in. They left (keep in mind there was a BABY in the back seat of this car and a woman in the front as well) police were called, I thought they had Pepper the whole time when I came down and saw the mess and the broken cage. I freaked out and discovered my asthma really ISN'T gone. I went back to the apartment and cried, almost threw up, you get the idea that I was a mess. Then poor hubs went out to see if he could find Pepper. I had no idea Pepper had flown off... But in the end, we got him back!
I still can't believe this happened. I really don't feel safe here at all anymore, not that I truely felt safe in these apartments to begin with. We are getting a new deadbolt and front door handle, one that will hopefully look more intimidating and less easy to pick in case those &&#%%$&^#'s come back.
I also keep a look out for the sedan these guys were driving and the apartment they go to, hoping to see them so we can get the police out here to arrest their asses.
Here's the link to a very tiny, very local tv station out here with Pepper~~ about 10-15 min in... Tiffany the blonde is reporting :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Literally. Or more like almost cut off in a really ridiculous way.
Like reaching into my sewing box and slicing through the top like a hot knife in butter.
Totally unexpected. Totally pissed me off too, since now I can't even knit.
Lesson learned today? Throw away your rotary cutters. They will jump out and attack you, unprovoked.
And I'm pretty sure I'll need a couple shots from the doc since this blade is pretty sketchy looking.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
For those of you out there in internet land, my birthday is coming up on the 4th.
No this isn't an evil ploy to get massive amounts of gifts or well-wishes. But I did get a super card in the mail yesterday from a friend that I haven't been the greatest friend to, but am planning on changing that.
We've known each other since junior high and have recently reconnected via Facebook. And am I ever so grateful for that?
Hell to the yes.
But back to my smile? This is it...
You see the "Smile"? Yeah, I thought NO ONE remembered how to do the diamond "s" anymore!
Needless to say, Lisa is a dear friend and I can only hope to be such a good friend to her as well.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
O. M. G.
Again at the laundromat (yes I *have* done laundry since my last posting) with Creepy-attendant-dude here yet again.
It's really a lovely little joint if you look past the fact that most of the machines are broken. Ironically there is a *flat screen* tv here. Flat. Screen. Mounted on the wall, flat screen.
Then there's the claw machine.
The signage clearly states it is out of order. But I think otherwise. It's haunted. Very. The claaaawwww moves on its own. Attempting to grab any unsuspecting tiny toy that has cruelly been abandoned. Gah! Thank goodness I only have 15 more minutes on the dryers our I may run, screaming outta here!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Knit tiny things.
Because tiny things take tiny amounts of time.
I found a really great tiny pig pattern here and made up my own elephant pattern after scouting for the *perfect* pattern.
On a side note, I've been spending time here confessing my deepest thoughts that I won't even write here, let alone Facebook or Twitter. Because between you, me, and tiny pink elephant, I'd probably piss off *a lot* of people. A lot. So, thank you Jill ( @scarymommy ) for letting me vent in anonymity! Betcha can't guess which ones are mine...
*hint* one involves boogers...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Now this does resemble other traveling gnomes, mostly like my favorite knitter/toy-maker/awesomist gal Anna Hrachovec from Mochimochi Land . But to be clear, no, I did not purchase this pattern, nor did i copy/thief/steal her pattern from someone. I simply knitted from looking at various pictures between those on her blog, various random gnomes found on the web and from my head. So, Anna, if you are reading this and are mad, I'm sorry and I'll purchase your pattern! And to be clear, NO, I'm not selling these lil fellers...
I don't believe in pimping out my gnomes...
And yes, that's an itty bitty wittle chikin.
They're ranchers by trade now...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Who's to know what nastiness has washed off others' clothes and lingers for mine to touch, swirl, spin and cling to.
Case in point, the random yellowish stains that ostentatiously showed up on my clothes tonight. Pissed? Yes. Kinda grossed out? You betcha. At least I know it isn't contagious since they were dried at HIGH heat for 40 min. *shudder*
Then there's always the creepy attendant. Randomly walking past you, seeing what you've got going on. In my case, knitting. I've got two (well four) needles, you've got two eyes. Coincidence? I think not. And next time you check out my ass as I'm pulling clothes out of the washer/dryer/whatever, said needles will find their way to you... *insert evil laugh and clasped hands* Take that Creepy-Attendant-Dude.
Oh, shall we discuss the unknown discolorations on the folding tables?
Or perhaps the smell that you just can't quite place?
Or even the... wait. Hold on. I think I'm even too icked out now to go back.
But I have to next week.
Until we meet again Creepy-Laundr-O-Mat-Attendant-Dude.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Then conveniently leans in, ever so gently, and reads above line.
Apparently he thinks I need another hobby.
After months of not writing, I missed it. Terribly.
I may not write every day, but I am making it my goal to get three posts in a week. Big goal? Not so much. Big enough goal for a Stay At Home Mom with an almost 2 year old and an almost 6 month old? Oh hell yes.
I know I won't have long, inclusive, in-depth, posts, but I'll be damned to at least get a small smile from each of my readers. However small and select they are... You know I love every one of you!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Let's see. What's happened since you last heard from me March 1?? Okay, sit down, shut up, and HOLD ON!
We moved from Oklahoma back to Washington state shortly after my last posting.
Stayed at my dad's house and at my SIL's house, back and forth, back and forth for about 3 weeks (and 4 hours drive between the two) until we found a house in Sequim. Pronounced S-Kwim. Not See-kwim. Or see-kwim-run... see-kwim-fall... you get the picture.
Come June, after struggling and stressing, we were forced to move. Again. To Arizona.
So this is where we reside now. And hopefully forever.
Keep in mind ALL (save for what we could cram in a tow trailer) is STILL in Oklahoma. That's right. Two effing states away.
So we are sleeping on the floor. We meaning my husband and I. The girls have cribs... I made sure to pack their stuff first. Although, in hindsight, I wish I would have "known" we would be without this long and packed more stuff for Abby. Growing like a weed. A long, skinny, loud, weed.
I swear we can rival any Gypsy or Military family when it comes to packing and un-hoarding possessions. Really.
But there is a light at the end of this long, bitter tunnel. HOPEFULLY we can get our things by the beginning of August. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. Toes crossed. Eyes crossed.... ouch, not so much the eyes. Makes it hard to type.
All in all I think we've come out pretty ok. Still married, still alive. That counts right?
So as I sit here on the floor, I'd like to simply say, "HOLY MOTHER #($&#**#Q($()*&@*(&*#(&!!!" There. I feel better.
So stay tuned, I plan on writing a lot more. A lot. Like maybe everyday? And I've even installed the app on my phone so I can blog on the go! Yessiree, I'm with the times. Mmmhmmm.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
At this moment, knock on wood, BOTH (yes, BOTH) girls are being quiet, peaceful, and quite possibly sleeping. GASP!
And as I typed that the newborn just stirred. Dangit.
Well so far I've had the sad, horrible, reality of sleep deprivation smacked back in my face like a runaway train. It sucks, just to let you know.
As a matter of fact, I slept in the guest/baby room last night with the baby in my arms all friggin night. Because, golly forbid, she sleep in the swing, or bouncer, or even in her bassinet. By. Her. Self.
To make matters worse, she has GERD (GastroEsophogeal Reflux Disorder) just like her big sister did, except worse. It's a real bitch.
And while I'm thinking about it, Fisher Price really needs to look into extending the timed noise maker on their swings. 15 minutes just doesn't cut it guys. If you could make it 15 hours, now, I'd buy stock in your company. But until then I'm investing in a time machine. And unicorn pixie dust.
For those that follow me on Twitter (and if you don't you TOTALLY should, I'm just saying...) noticed my MIL was in town to assist with my now chaotic lifestyle. Kudos for her in helping out, but I think both parties will agree 3 weeks is a bit too much for anyone. And the fact she confessed she likes Yanni. Yes, YANNI. I contemplated disowning her on the spot, but she was holding my child.
Aaaannnnnnddddd the baby isn't staying asleep/quiet/content.
Guess I'm cutting this entry short. Very short.
I promise I'll get the hang of this soon and be a bit more regular about writing!!!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
To be continued.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Evil. Simply evil.
But what the medical personnel don't realize is I used to work in the field scheduling peeps that had to fast... in reality, I can get away with beginning my fasting at 3 am.
And after giving it some serious thought, I'm gonna blog RIGHT after... Call it an experiment in blogging, AKA drunk on morphine and an epidural blogging. From my phone. It should be interesting to say the least.
I may even add a video. Maybe.
FYI, Hell froze over. Literally.
It was -19* yesterday. In Oklahoma.
Guess what it's supposed to be next Thursday?
Plus we had 3-4' snow drifts. This was all enough to shut down the entire state. For two days.
We went shopping today and laughed at the poor saps that were stuck in the snow. And yelled at the ones tail-gating. They really don't know how to drive out here. Really don't. *Sigh*
Did I mention Abigail will be here around 12:30 pm tomorrow???? Did I??? *Doing the happy dance*
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I've managed to finish the two newborn hats I made for her. Now I'm working on a cocoon (or sleep sack) for her. I've got to get through all my yarn some how! I would post pictures, but my camera has been packed away in my hospital bag, which is in the back of our rig. Soooo... you'll just have to imagine the pure awesomeness of them.
I've been waking up about every 30-90 minutes at night. It's really beginning to wear on me. And my attitude. And appearance. Let's just say I've got some pretty awesome bags under my eyes, am make-up-less almost exclusively and Abigail has dropped so low that even a "large" maternity shirt that is extra long still doesn't quite cover it all. Yeah, I'm ready. But not ready at the same time. Evil conundrum I'm in. Evil.
And I've come to the conclusion I'll be blogging right after the birth. It should be funny, or slightly entertaining, or simply resemble a drunken-blogging moment. Either way, whatever I have to say on Morphine and an epidural should be mildly worth reading. I hope. Let us just say it'll be an experiment in blogging.
I'm going to cut it short here as my mind is mush from lack of sleep and I need to attend to the finishing of my knitting. Plus my 17 month old is reverting to some old ways and today is a "binky day". I'm not even going to argue with the binky removal today. Not worth the battle.
FYI from here on out, I'll TRY to get a blog in at least every week, but I make no promises.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Oh, and smiling. Smiling is my favorite too.
But back to knitting.
I'm up to my much-needed-to-be-plucked eyebrows in projects, ideas and yarn. Lots of yarn. As my husband puts it, crap full of yarn. Really it's only one 18 gallon tub of the stuff, but he's a guy, and they just don't get it.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Granted, I've been taught APA, AP, BS, CRAP, and all sorts of interesting ways that are the "correct" way to write a paper. I've conformed to the instructors' wishes, reluctantly, trudging and counting each space, word, alphanumeric capitalization, you name it.
My biggest and most obvious pet peeve is how certain things are spoken/typed/portrayed in an incredibly inaccurate manner.
Take my mother. Love her, don't get me wrong, but her linguistic skills are severely lacking in some areas. And she's a teacher. (K-2, special education, but still) Her favorite word is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Unrelentlessly. It simply does not exist. No spell-check on Earth recognizes it. You have the choice of: unrelenting(ly), relentlessness, relentlessly. You get the idea. If you break down the word, it's really a double negative (also a pet peeve of mine)... I've corrected her for at least the last 20 years to no avail. *Sigh*
She also enjoys butchering medical terms... Like Urologist. It magically transforms to Urinologist. I correct her on this too, also to no avail. *Double sigh*
But enough on my mom. Let's pick on some others...
Thanks to the new digital age, evry1 (<--- this friggin' word PASSED spell-check by the way) compacts their words to conserve their 140 character limits. And it's showing up everywhere.
I get emails (they have become a very lazy means of communication) constantly from relatives with gross errors. Substituting know for no, now for no, tho for though, thru for threw or through, are for our, their for they're. You get the idea.
My husband is supremely guilty of this. As are some members of his family... I find myself spell-checking all his out-going mail for him, hovering like a vulture over his shoulder, pointing out each error... I'm a nag, what can I say.
Then there's those individuals that abuse the power of the Shift key. Like TYPING IN ALL CAPS, or adding an exclamation point to the end of! each! sentence!
Can't stand it, I tell you, can't stand it.
It's like the ALL CAPS person in chronically yelling at me. I shrink in my seat and avert my eyes whilst reading it. Or the exclamation! person! is! overtly! ecstatic! over! everything!
It gets overwhelming. Very.
There was just recently an article articulating the geographical differences between people that tweet. "Sumtin" versus "Summthin" etc. Of course, there have always been geographical markers for certain parts of the English-speaking world. Theatre versus theater. Color versus colour.
I've also have had certain ways to spell or speak drilled in my brain. Take spelling together. Break it down to to-get-her. Or you always say zero for the number, not oh. That little diddy would literally cost me money each time I slipped up. My former boss got rich, quick.
However, I've succeeded this far with typing the way I speak, thankyouverymuch. Accomplishing all this with two collegiate degrees under my Belt of Invisibility.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
You fart while standing, sitting, getting up, kneeling, sneezing, walking, and sleeping. You can't escape it, yet it loves to escape you in the most inopportune times.
Your nose no longer works.
You smell phantom stenches... the one that seems to follow me every where is cat poo or pee. E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. And we don't even own a cat. Some raunchy smells you seem to pass over in oblivion. Like your farts.
And your nose gets wider. I blame the snoring strips my hubs begs me to wear at night.
You snore. Like it or not, you've been blessed with it. You snore because your nose is stuffy from being oblivious to your farts.
What you once used to eat in pure joy now gives you pure heartburn. Aka hell. And your tastes have done a 180* flip. What you used to love, you now hate and vice versa. My cravings during the first pregnancy were bizarre. Lemon juice. Loved it. I would take shots of it everyday. And a bowl of peanut butter sprinkled with Cheerios. Now I think of either I want to barf.
If you still have kids in diapers or have to change diapers in general it sucks even more than before. Barf.
To the women whom think labor is beautiful or enlightening, you are wrong, so very, very wrong. I labored for 35 effing hours before they figured out my little bundle of joy was heads up, ass down. Then I get the pleasure of having a c-section, which means I now have to have another c-section in a month.
You don't get stretch marks, you get stretch road maps. Mine is of Rhode Island.
Your bra size can increase up to and beyond FOUR sizes. There is no va va va voom to them. More like, "Crap? Who makes a 34 DD or 36 E?" No one, by the way. Unless you want to pay over $50 for a bra you get to use only a year.
Your belly is a target for talk, and touching.
You are told you are too big/small/wide/lopsided/high/low.
"Are you carrying twins???"
"Are you SURE??"
"Yes, Baby A already ate Baby B..."
You pee when you sneeze, cough, laugh, or even talk.
Kegels are a waste of time.
Maternity clothes are definitely not great by month 8. The shirts no longer cover the belly, you are lucky to get it past your belly button (or what was once your belly button). Elastic pants cut off circulation.
Or the pants split in the ass, like what happened to me this morning. Nothing is off limits to your every-widening ass.
Kankles. Every woman gets them. Like it or not, your ankles have disappeared into oblivion.
You no longer walk, you waddle. If you play your cards right, you can get the sympathy nods and most will get out of your way. Most. There are those few (all seemingly reside in Oklahoma) that seem to find your belly is fun to bump. I compare it to adolescent boys "accidentally" bumping into your breasts.
I'm pretty positive I've left off a few (hundred) things... But these are the most potent in memory.
And yes, I love my first, and will love my second just as much...
Monday, January 3, 2011
With winter upon us, we have quite a lot of visitors from up north. Canadian Geese to be exact. And I do mean a lot. You see them all over Oklahoma City and outlying areas, including our pond. Remember Jerk Goose?
I think I've changed my outlook on him, for a while at least...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I feel old! Can't even hang until midnight these days.
Although I'm pleased to announce I am no longer making New Years Resolutions. No need to be let down and depressed I didn't exercise as often as I told myself I would. No need to set myself up for failure again, another year in a row.
I think all people should take on this philosophy. We'd be a happier society.
Even though I don't have resolutions to abandon by the beginning of March, I do have a HUMONGOUS list of "projects". And it's a long 'un:
- Finish my 'nesting' and make room for MIL to stay in the extra bedroom... Nothing say's "Welcome to our home" like having to clear a bunch of crap (as hubs would say) off the bed just to sit.
- Pack, pack, pack, pack. Pacific Northwest, we're coming home! Gooooodddbyyeeee Oklahoma, not so nice knowin' ya.
- Declutter. Even more. Last time it took up BOTH garbage bins. Let's see if we can accomplish that again, shall we?
- Knit, knit, knit, and knit some more, even crochet some. I have two 2" binders jam packed FULL of potential projects, with even more bookmarked on my computer.
- Hats to sell
- Hair clips to glue and burn my already beat-to-hell hands
- The obvious need to KNIT said hats to sell
- Start and FINISH DD#2's fleece blanket
- Build my Etsy page. I've been wanting to do this for over a year now... I think it's high time to get it done.
- With this, I could expand my commissioned photo prop hats past my one and only customer....
Oh, and I have approximately a MONTH to do some of this before DD#2 "Abigail" is born. Crap.